Work that I lost has a habit of returning to me when I'm in moments of despair. I did a performative experience at the start of Summer that meant that I had left my performative burlap sculpture in the attic of the house I moved out of. It was an object that I had placed a lot of sentimental value partly because it was my first live performance work to the public and because I had pretty much had to live inside of it for a week and it had a very physical effect on my skin. Over the course of the summer of the summer I recorded any time that the work popped back into my head, whether that be concerning the difficulty of committing to this act of abandonment as well as the guilt, remorse, or even normality that accompanied this act of loss. As third year started at university I was unable to find the document and have only now found it again. A few of the entries will remain in there note form, but a select few I would like to see fleshed out into more substantial entries of writing. I have not worked with the written word before in regard to a physical work, and am interested how I take these very real emotive checkpoints and then create a more substantial depiction of them now out of the moment.
The curious aspect about this is that I was contacted and the work in question returned to me also. This object I personally and privately appeared to communicate with almost found me again which was quite surreal. I had accepted the inevitability of eternal loss. I've now personified this object of sorts, I say 'it found me again' but in reality the residents of the house had mutual friends that acquired the work to give back to me. It was much less romantic.
I have selected 2 examples both of which concern an aspect of uprooting, one where I had received a photograph from the exhibition photographer of the work and found it unreflective of the moment, uprooting this sensation of loss. The other concerned moving into a new home, a fresh start after being uprooted from the home of which the work was birthed and then left to die. I left moments of ambiguity in the writing to which don't elude to a precise scenario- it is abstract in it's dealing with a failed relationship, the death of a loved one etc..it suggests all but then has moments that don't add up to either. It is intangible because I discuss a loved for a figurative but altogether inanimate non-human. I think it is best to keep them quite short so they appear more intimate.
To critique I'm not sure how accessible they are, because of that confused state of absence that is difficult to pin down? Also I need to get somebody to thoroughly proof-read as my literary skills are illiterate when it comes to structure or punctuation. We have a work in progress session coming up soon so I will debut these writings. I'm unsure display wise what I'm doing with them, I find something very unsatisfying about just displaying them as writings on a wall.