A few of us in the studio put our work into an exhibition that the Christian Union has organised called 'Perception'. Perhaps the most beneficial aspect of this, was that myself, Ed, Jess and Tab are very familiar with each other's work, which hasn't been detrimental but rather it is difficult to freely read a work when we constantly discuss it, and see it in the same position each time we go into the studio. This experience refreshed the work. I originally intended for my 'Sack Cloth and Ashes' piece to go in but size restraints meant I entered the head cage and sage wing, which I am thankful for now. The pieces worked really nicely together, (other then the muted colour palette) in the space, and we were given the opportunity after the private view to give a short presentation on the work.
David Rowe's work which was 2 magnet's he had taken from a photocopier with a coating of nuts and screws taken from the same object. I had been completely mesmerised by the work in the private view, and when speaking about it after, David described a lack of presciousness and sense of play
while creating his works. He said that the magnets and bolts were in separate bags, and he asked if the curators would quickly attach it together in the space, and proceeded to move and change the work the entire time he was talking. I made a comment about the short plinth the work was displayed on, that had made me detach from the eye level of the other works, and made me crouch to really see the work. It was a pausing moment, that equally grasped my attention as soon as I entered the space. David said the short plinth was the first plinth he found. This is something I really can't identify with in my work, although I am in awe of it. I am precious about what I create, and I am a perfectionist, I often don't leave a lot of room for play. When I perform for the camera, I have planned out a structure for chance to take place, but in a very controlled manor. As I start to think about a live performance for the Poly show, I can't see an end point right now. Even my ideas- I can't manifest and mentally see what it will physically look like. There is something exciting about this, especially with the fact that the public will see the work, and not only my name but my physical presence will be in a vulnerable position if it doesn't work. I think I will anonymise myself again to simply give me some sort of confidence to perform for the first time in front of an audience, as well as removing the identity from identification from the work. I suppose this is my area of play, very much before the work is physical, it remains fluid when it is not reality, and I establish a strict structure as the work is created...
I also think I should comment on something I keep noticing when I have to speak about my work. I am completely incoherent when their is not a group of people around me. If discussing work in the studio, I often fumble with my words, can't remember any sort of contextual studies and sound pretty simple to be perfectly honest. I often undermine any sort of complexity my work holds, which is really frustrating and often why I now resort to talking about my work in terms of medium rather then concept. I noticed how much more coherent I am in front of a crowd of unfamiliar, and I always notice the transformation that takes place when I am not comfortable, as I briefly spoke about the 2 works in the exhibition. I just think this is an important thing to note, and possibly expand on. All of my performances are uncomfortable and put myself and the viewer in a position of discomfort. Is this the only way I am able to perform? Perhaps because this focus on pain etc... takes me out of my own head, and any sort of insecurity of judgement or negative opinion feels detached. I am still present to hear it, but then I feel so completely not myself that it doesn't affect me in the slightest.